The moment I stepped into the L. Ron Hubbard House museum, I knew there were some serious Illuminati shenanigans going down. In the 1950’s the museum served as the founding Church of Scientology, a religion with known connections to Illuminati activity.
My tour guide, a slim Puerto Rican man in his mid-30’s, was clearly an Illuminati drone. The drone took me throughout the house, showing pictures of L. Ron Hubbard and other prominent church figures. What struck me most was that they didn’t even attempt to hide the fact that Hubbard had red hair, a clear mark of Satan.
Things became even more strange when the drone took me upstairs to show me Hubbard’s old library. There happened to be exactly 666 books on the shelves, coincidence? I think not.
The drone left me for a moment to answer a ringing telephone (probably a call from Jay-Z) and I attempted to use my phone to contact an outside source to tell them of my findings. However, I had no service. It then became clear to me that I had been lured into the L. Ron Hubbard House to be contained by the Illuminati. At this point, I knew I was being watched so I waited patiently for the drone to return.
When he did he apologized for the phone call and resumed the tour, taking me into a room with cultural artifacts collected by Hubbard. The drone encouraged me to look around and when I got a closer view of the artifacts I realized that they all had distinct tribal markings. But they weren’t any ordinary markings. They were triangles, the known symbol of the Illuminati.
I began to panic, knowing that by this point in the tour the Queen of England, Sasha Obama, Trader Joe and other prominent Illuminati figures must be on their way to capture me. I asked the drone to use the restroom and escaped out the window. I was home free.
-Sam DaMoor
*It should be known that EGG contributor and known illuminati member Blue Ivy Carter has confirmed that the L. Ron Hubbard House museum is indeed an illuminati headquarter.
L. Ron Hubbard House
