EGG Tri-Weekly's
2014 New Year's Resolutions
As 2013 comes to an end, we at EGG encourage you to reflect on the past year and look towards the new one. This is an especially important time for EGG as we champion rebirth. To help clense and awaken your soul in this transitional time, we've created a list of suggested New Year's Resolutions that are sure to make your 2014 AMAZEBALLS!
-Release your inner Buddhist monk by practicing Yoga six times a day at the beach!
-See Nickleback live in concert!
-Become a Clear and convert to Scientology!
-Make your tweets less basic.
-Only eat naturally regurgitated vegan eats.
-Visit your local Church of Scientology and convert today!
-Start a website dedicated to youth culture.
-Create new Instagram accounts to give yourself more likes and boost your self esteem.
-Reference yourself more often in conversations to increase your sense of self worth!
-Start sleeping on Tom Cruise's lawn to inquire about joining the Church of Scientology.
-Read Mein Kampf and Withering Harmony.
-Refer to yourself in the third person to develop a stronger sense of identity.
-Become a Kardashian.
-Reach the level of Optimun Thetan in the Church of Scientology.
-Read Egg Tri-Weekly tri-weekly, independently.
Sincerely,
The Egg Tri-Weekly Staff