Local Jew, Ethan Goldmankatzsteinmanberg, was recently baptized in Jesus water. After two months of being bombarded by "holiday music" (but we all know it was just Christmas music because Jewish music isn't that catchy), Goldmankatzsteinmanberg felt compelled to convert to Christianity.
After being baptized in a piss-filled kiddie pool behind a local church, Goldmankatzsteinmanberg told sources that it "feels great to sing along to "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" without a nagging sense of guilt for betraying [his] Jewish heritage."
"It's always been hard to face Rabbi Lipschitz during this season," says Goldmankatzsteinmanberg. "Now I don't have to deal with any of those pesky sermons where he'd go on for hours about losing another member of Temble Beth David to Christmas music.
The team at The Egg Tri-Weekly always feels inspired after hearing about successfull conversions like Ethan's. We hope you too feel the glory of Jesus Christ this Christmas season!
Merry Christmas!
Local Jew Converted to Christianity by Catchy Christmas Music
